The Distraction Game: How To Spot When Someone Is Trying To Deflect

Changing The Topic Suddenly:

One of the most common signs of deflection is when someone quickly changes the subject. 

If you bring up something important, and the other person starts talking about something unrelated, it may be a tactic to shift attention away from the issue. 

Watch for moments when conversations are redirected right after a sensitive topic is mentioned.

Blaming Someone Else:

Deflectors often pass the blame to avoid being held responsible. 

Instead of addressing their own role in a situation, they might say things like, “Well, you did this too” or “It’s not my fault, it’s because of them.” 

This keeps the focus off them and avoids solving the actual problem.

Getting Overly Defensive:

When someone becomes extra defensive over a simple question, that’s a red flag. A deflector may raise their voice, act insulted, or accuse you of attacking them. 

The goal here is to create an emotional reaction that makes you back off. Stay calm and stick to your original point if you suspect deflection.

Using Humor To Distract:

Laughter can ease tension, but when humor is used to dodge accountability, it becomes a tool for deflection. 

If someone keeps cracking jokes every time a serious matter comes up, they might be trying to avoid the issue altogether. 

Ask yourself: Are they laughing with me, or laughing to avoid answering?

Acting Like The Victim:

Turning into the victim is a way to change your position from someone asking a fair question to someone who now feels guilty. 

A deflector may say things like, “Why are you always picking on me?” or “I can never do anything right.” This shifts the focus from what they did to how you’re making them feel.

Giving Vague Or Confusing Answers:

When someone answers your question with lots of words but no clear message, that’s a sign of deflection. 

If you feel more confused after someone explains something, that’s likely intentional. A clear question should get a clear answer. If it doesn’t, ask again or ask for clarity.

Avoiding Eye Contact Or Using Nervous Body Language:

While body language alone isn’t proof, it can give clues. People who deflect may avoid eye contact, fidget, or cross their arms when questioned. 

These signs suggest discomfort, especially when combined with other deflecting behaviors.

Redirecting With Questions:

Instead of answering your question, a deflector may throw one right back at you. For example, “Why does that matter?” or “Why are you asking me that now?” 

This move is meant to make you question your own logic and steer the talk away from them.

The Power Of Staying Grounded:

The best way to deal with deflection is to stay focused on your goal. Don’t match their energy or get pulled into side arguments. 

Instead, calmly repeat your question or request. The more you stay centered, the harder it becomes for them to avoid the truth.